Home Sweet Sarah

“It won the Academy Award. Best movie ever made.”*

Posted on November 16, 2010 by Sarah

My girl Kristen posted this earlier today and because I basically live for movie quotes, I thought I’d shamelessly steal it for my own blog. So, here you go. The Movie Quote Game!

The rules:

Pick 10 (or so) of your favorite movies
Find, remember, or look up a quote from each movie
Post them here for everyone to guess
Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie
NO googling or cheating by doing an online search. Cheaters never prosper (well, sometimes they do. But don’t cheat!)
Commenters should share the fun and only guess one movie (on the first try — if you come back and you know one that still hasn’t been chosen, knock yourself out)

Aaaaand go:

1. “Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.” A fellow Talladega Nights fan, I see! Nice work, Vicki! And remember, these colors don’t run.

2. “I don’t need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I’m the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it, I want to taste it.” Jen, when I bring an OD-ing bitch to your house, I’ll give her the shot. (Pulp Fiction.)

3. “Richard, who’s your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? … Or is it SPANKY?” Tommy Boy! One of my favorite movies! Nicely done, Angela!

4. “I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his ‘uge pillow.” Megan got this one – So I Married An Axe Murderer – and yes, where IS Mike Myers now?

5. “I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger. Stage five, virgin, clinger.” MamaBub got this one – Wedding Crashers!

6. “I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what it means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.” Compelling and rich, Kerri Anne. You and Anchorman are compelling and rich.

7. “Wow, I didn’t know we’d become such good friends, because if we had, you’d know that I give head before I give favors and I don’t even give my best friends head so your chances of getting a favor are pretty fucking slim.” Well played, Jess, well played. I thought for sure NO ONE would guess the movie Go.

8. “Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees.” Because I was a little slow with the updating, I’ll call this one a tie between Jennie and Sarah … Clueless!

9. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Go fuck yourselves.” My BFF’s husband Matt guessed this correctly. It’s Catch me if you Can!

10. “Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor – heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand … BLECH.” Go, Ashley! It’s from A Christmas Story, natch.

* 11. Raven/Blackbird also got this one correct. She’s totally my Ricky Bobby soulmate.

Posted in Book, Movies, TV, & Music | 17 Comments

Would Mr. Dahmer like some Doritos?

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Sarah

Now that the cat’s out of the bag – or rather, the fetus is in the uterus, whatever – I thought I’d let you know what’s been going on the past three months.

The major major thing, other than the BABY, of course (baby, baby, baby, blah, blah, blah, BOOOOORING) is that I’ve had to give up my beloved champers.

Let’s all take a moment of silence to commemorate a better, bubblier time, shall we?

Other than that, there haven’t been many other major changes. Word on the street is there’s an ever-growing list of food you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT EAT EVER while pregnant, but I am blissfully unaware and if someone tries to tell me I can’t eat a turkey-freaking-sandwich, I’ll just be over here, fingers in ears, singing LA LA LA LA LA.

Physically, I’m feeling good. Oh! Other than the mother-loving headaches. Oof, the headaches. Tylenol is jack shit, let me tell you what. It does NOTHING, probably because I’m so used to mainlining Excedrin when I have a headache. Tylenol’s shit; I just can’t say it enough.

But other than the headaches, all’s good. I haven’t had any morning sickness or any of that mess, which made both my mom and grandma predict – separately – that I’m having a boy.

Speaking of gender, I don’t plan on announcing the gender here on the old blog. I rather like keeping secrets and think surprises are fun, so I’ll be announcing it once the kid’s out. (Just thought I’d clear that up now, that way I don’t come off as a total bitch if you ask me what the gender is and I refuse to tell you.) I can be kind of a doofus, though, so don’t be surprised if I pull a Jennifer Garner.

Apparently you’re supposed to have crazy dreams when pregnant, but I have yet to experience any. In fact, I can barely remember my dreams, which is not like me at all, and even the ones I can remember haven’t been all that wacky and definitely not as wacky as my non-pregnant dreams. (Last night, I did have a dream I was eating nacho cheese Doritos and they were barely cheesy at all! What a disappointment.)

I have been peeing – on average – five times a night. THEY SAY that’s supposed to stop in the second trimester, which, last time I counted, I am in right now, but apparently my body doesn’t care and insists on waking me up early and often to walk on the freezing cold tile and be on the lookout for Jeffrey Dahmer* trying to kill me. Or rather, Chris, since Jeffrey was into dudes.

Anyway, I guess that’s all that’s new with me and pretty much brings you up-to-date on my health and well-being during this very special time in my life (hah.) I can’t make any promises that this blog won’t turn into ALL BABY ALL THE TIME, but at least for now I neglected to bring up the constipation and the gas.

*So, the Jeffrey Dahmer thing needs explaining, yes? Chris and I have this stupid habit of watching documentaries or biopics about serial killers late at night and then Chris always remembers some especially crazy killer from the Northwest, so then I have to look that person up on the Internet, and then that leads to me looking up ALL the major serial killers, which then causes me to think Jeffrey Dahmer is hanging out in the corner of our bedroom, watching us (or rather, Chris) sleep. Seriously, it’s ridiculous. I have to constantly remind myself that, A) It was JUST A MOVIE, B) Jeffrey Dahmer is dead, C) I am HAVING A BABY; that’s way scarier than a serial killer, and D) Stop being dumb, Sarah. Just stop.

Posted in She's Having a Baby | 9 Comments

That. Just. Happened.

Posted on November 5, 2010 by Sarah

Dear Internet,

Allow me to introduce you to my my fetus.

This little (god-willing) human being will be gracing us with its presence on or around May 15, 2011.

Pictured here, Baby W clocks in at 10 weeks, five days, although it’s a little bigger now, at 13 weeks exactly.

It likes long naps, burritos, animal crackers, and being poked by its mom (that’s me!)

It dislikes garbanzo beans, Indian food (*barf*), and that’s pretty much it.

Other than CREATING LIFE, there’s nothing new going on here.

Rock on.

Posted in She's Having a Baby | 27 Comments

DIY autumn wreath for a non-DIY-er

Posted on October 24, 2010 by Sarah

I’m not normally a very crafty person, but for some reason, I have a thing about making my own wreaths. Store-bought wreaths kind of offend me because they’re usually overpriced, not to mention sort of hokey-looking and I always think I can do better. So, when I wanted to make an autumn/Halloween wreath, I did what any not-really crafty person would do: I enlisted the help of my Internet/Style/Food Lush friend, Jess.

Jess had posted some pictures of her own rocking Halloween decorations, so I asked her in a I’m-kidding-but-not-really-but-if-you-think-I’m kidding-cool-and-if-you-don’t-think-I’m-kidding-even-better kind of way to maybe post about DIY wreaths. And, since Jess is awesome, she delivered and found a ton of awesome DIY wreaths, which you can find here. I was drawn to this one because it didn’t look too difficult and if I’m nothing if not easy.

I ventured into Michael’s, which I firmly believe is actual hell on earth, worse even than Wal-Mart, which is certainly up there (or rather, down there) when it comes to hell on earth, but at least Wal-Marts are bigger, thus, more places to flee. Anyway, into Michael’s I went, along with about a million other people, and I found a bunch of autumn-y looking things (pine cones and cheap plastic pumpkins all for 60% off) and managed to get out of there for about 20 bucks.

And so today, while roasting in front of a warm fire, I crafted (hah.) I keep forgetting I dropped a grand (hold me) on a fancy new camera, so I didn’t remember to take pictures until I’d already started, but meh. Whatever. Here you go:

I started with a plain wooden wreath made out of grape vines (I don’t actually know this for a fact, but Chris seems to think that’s what it’s made out of and he’s pretty damn crafty, but shh, I didn’t tell you that) and hot glued pine cones and pumpkins to it.

A blurry picture of the pumpkins, gourd-like things, and pine cones, which smell like cinnamon (“Tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon; everyone knows that.”)

I wrapped some ribbon around the wreath, reinforced it on the back with a little bit of hot glue, and that’s it.

Finished product! Thanks, Jess!

Posted in Holidays | 8 Comments

Food Lush!

Posted on October 4, 2010 by Sarah

I’m (very!) excited to let everyone know the fab crew at Style Lush has just launched a new website – Food Lush – and that’s where I’ll be writing from now on (on Wednesdays.) Food Lush is THE place for all things food and booze, so if you’re so inclined, add us to your Favorites, Bookmarks, Google Readers, etc.

Also, if you’re into wasting hours upon hours on the Internet, you can go ahead and follow the Food Lush Twitter stream at – you guessed it – @foodlush. (Style Lush’s Twitter handle is @stylelushblog, in case you weren’t following us already.)

Thank you for reading my posts both here and there for (going on) (almost) a year (in January.) I was first interested in writing for Style Lush because A) It was my favorite comprehensive style/life/food/etc. blog on the Internet, and B) I was jobless and alone (but not lonely) and in need of something to keep my mind sharp and my sanity…not crazy. Lucky for me, the Style Lush crew took me in and writing there was and continues to be a good fit and a lot of fun. Not to mention, I have actually made a few in-real-life friends out of the deal. A win-win for sure.

Posted in All About Moi | 1 Comment

Dear Sarah: How do I wear black eyeliner without looking like Fairuza Balk in “The Craft?”

Posted on September 29, 2010 by Sarah

Today’s question comes from Holly, but before we get into it, I must say, I personally like Fairuza’s eyeliner in “The Craft,” so perhaps my answers won’t exactly help. Regardless, I’ll try to channel this Fairuza:

rather than this Fairuza:

Now, onto the eyeliner. I think the key to pulling off black eyeliner can be summed up in three points (three points which, I notice after the fact, don’t really make sense and sort of blend together, but whatever, let’s go with it):

1. Don’t use actual black eyeliner. A shade of black – perhaps something with green or grey undertones – will be softer than using the BLACK VERY BLACK BLACKEST color. I exclusively use the MAC Powerpoint line of eyeliners (read more about why I’m so obsessed here.) My favorite go-to color is Engraved, but have recently had an affinity for Black Russian, a sort of shimmery blackish-grey. I also really like Buried Treasure, which has the greenish undertones mentioned above. They’re all black, but not gratingly so.

2. Practice makes perfect. I remember when I first started wearing eyeliner, I thought to myself, Self, are you ever going to be able to draw a straight eyeliner line? I really thought I was going to be completely eyeliner inept FOREVER, but like anything in life, practice makes perfect and now I can apply a perfectly straight line quick and in a hurry.

The key to applying eyeliner, though, is approximately 90% the type of eyeliner and only 10% skill. If you’re using a cheap eyeliner, no amount of practice will get rid of that eyeliner-ripping-through-eyeball feeling. So, while you certainly may get better at applying eyeliner, it won’t become easier. An easy-to-apply eyeliner, like the type mentioned above, really fights most of the battle for you.

3. If you mess up, embrace it! You can’t win ’em all, and sometimes eyeliner just goes on kind of wonky. Here’s where I simply take my favorite eyeshadow and apply a little on top of the eyeliner with a slanted brush. I have many, many, MANY eye shadows, but my favorite for eyeliner-ing is Embark (by MAC, who else?) A note about avoiding eyeliner mess-ups: Always make sure you have a sharp eyeliner pencil. The duller the pencil, the more likely you are to mess up.

Now that you have the basics, there’s an extremely important decision you need to make for yourself:

Are you a Bottom?

A Top?

A Top and a Bottom?

This all depends on your complexion, comfort-level, and skill. I personally am a Top ALWAYS and a Bottom sometimes. You just have to mess around with what you’re comfortable with, but I recommend starting out small and working your way up crazy eyeliner lady.

Holly, I hope this helps you jump into the eyeliner game! Let me know how it works out! And hey, if you still look like Fairuza Balk in “The Craft” afterward, that’s cool too!

Any other questions for Dear Sarah? Let me have ’em! (Ahem, if you want to talk booze, you know I’m game!)

Posted in Beauty & Fashion, Dear Sarah | 5 Comments

How to get clean clothes in 6.4 easy steps

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Sarah

Step 1a: Wear the same pair of pants every day for a month.

1b.: Spill tea, hot sauce, lotion, etc. on them (almost) every day.

1c.: Finally deem them Too Disgusting To Wear Without First Being Cleaned and toss them on the floor of the closet.

1d.: Think to yourself, “Throwing these dirty pants on the floor will ensure I don’t wear them again before taking them to the dry cleaners! I am so smart!”

1e.: Pick up dirty pants off the closet floor the next morning and wear them.

Step 2: Repeat Steps 1b through 1e for the next two months. Possibly three.

Step 3: Finally decide you’ve had enough – your pants are REALLY too gross and disgusting to be worn again, for realz – so collect all your Dry Clean Only items and throw them in the backseat of your car.

Step 4: Drive around with dirty pants and other dirty Dry Clean Only items for a week, maybe two. (But not three; that’s just gross.)

Step 5: Finally take clothes to the dry cleaners. When the dry cleaner asks, insist you need your clothes back ASAP. End of the week! No later! I need clean clothes!

Step 6: A month later, when you get worried about the dry cleaners giving away your beloved pants, go pick up your dry cleaning.

Congratulations, now you have clean clothes!

Posted in Embarrassing Myself Daily | 3 Comments

Step into my time machine

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Sarah

It just occurred to me I never updated you on The Great Houseboat Trip of 2010. About a month ago, Chris’s Nana rented a houseboat in Lake Shasta and a small portion – about 22 people – of Chris’s family was able to make the festivities. You guys. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. (Anyone? Anyone?)

AnyWAY, here are some pictures from the houseboat. I only wish I’d actually seen this video beforehand, as it would have set the soundtrack for the whole weekend.

Our fearless captain

The ladies perfecting The Caren (my mom) patented pose: Stand sideways with hand on hip. So slimming!

It’s a hot-tub! On a boat! (Best thing ever)

A rowdy bunch (indeed)

And the hooligans let me jump in a picture, too

And, since it IS my blog, here’s a picture of me 😉

More crappy iPhone pictures can be found in the flickr set, here.

Posted in Family, Travel | 2 Comments

Dear Sarah: What is the meaning of life?

Posted on September 6, 2010 by Sarah

Willkommen! Bienvenidos! to the first installment of Dear Sarah. Mermanda asked me to answer the oft-pondered question, What is the meaning of life? Trying to trip me up, are you, Mermanda? Well too bad for you; I cannot be foiled!

The meaning of life is food. Some people eat to live, others live to eat; but either way, you’ve got to eat if you want to stay alive.

I personally live to eat. How can I make a meal better, I wonder? Do I have blue cheese? Do I have bacon? Add either/both (preferably both) to pretty much anything and you’ve got an instant hit. Think about Brussels sprouts*. People are like, “Ew, I hate Brussels sprouts!” And to these naysayers I say, See above! I dare you to hate Brussels sprouts when they’re covered in stinky cheese and swine.

Anyway, the meaning of life actually has nothing to do with Brussels sprouts, but I think you catch my drift here. Food! It’s what’s for dinner!

*Does anyone else think it’s weird that Brussels sprouts is spelled that way?

Next up on Dear Sarah: Let’s talk black eyeliner!

Posted in Dear Sarah | 1 Comment

Feeling campy

Posted on September 1, 2010 by Sarah

First of all, before my husband gives me anymore grief (“You’re just going to disappoint your LOYAL READERS?”), let me just say that I am going to start a Dear Sarah advice column, probably focusing mostly on booze (hey, it’s what the people want!) I will first answer Mermanda‘s question, but if you have any you’d like to ask, please do so! I am a self-proclaimed expert in black eyeliner and champagne, in case you have any pressing inquiries about those fascinating topics.

Today’s post, though, is to recap our camping trip from this past weekend. In case you couldn’t tell or didn’t already know, I’m not one for camping. I like the outdoors fine, I just prefer a bed and a shower (and room service and valet) if I’m going on vacation. Well, as luck would have it, I married quite the lover of camping. Chris has been trying to get me to go for years, insisting that he camps the “right” way and that I would have a good time if I went.

Well, I trust the guy a little bit and once in awhile I like to make sure he’s happy, so “Fine,” I said. “I’ll go camping!”

And. It really wasn’t bad. Actually, it was kind of fun…

I drank champagne.

I read fashion magazines.

I took a nap.

We played cards…

We roasted marshmallows for s’mores.

Burnt the first batch.

And then, in the drunken dark, stepped on all of them, getting melted ‘mallow all over our Uggs/jeans/leggings.

Oops.

We admired the scenery…

And then the next day, I took Chris on an 8 mile hike…

(Feather Falls – 6th tallest waterfall in the U.S.!)

Three point five days later, and we’re still sore…

I may never go on a week-long camping trip, but for an overnighter, it was definitely a good time! (That statement brought to you by Barefoot Bubbly.)

Posted in All About Moi, Chris, Travel | 2 Comments