Home Sweet Sarah

Oh, more eyeliner queries, my favorite! Whitney asked me if I could do a tutorial on how to apply a smokey eye and the answer is, unfortunately, no. I am not equipped to make a tutorial, as it would go something like this:

Step 1: Cake on a bunch of black eyeliner
Step 2: Add some black eyeshadow
Step 3: Blend, blend, blend
Step 4: Add more black eyeliner

I am, however, very adept at Googling, so here’s a link to a smokey eye tutorial. I have actually used this tutorial before, so I know it’s good. It’s very step-by-step and I don’t think you need every single product she uses; you can really just make do with what you already have on hand.

One thing I add that the tutorial girl does not is black eyeliner on the…How do I explain this?…On, the, like, ledge part of the eyelid. You know where your eyelashes meet your skin?…There’s a little ledge…I add eyeliner there (to both top and bottom lids.) I use this eyeliner from Laura Mercier, along with this special brush (the special brush is a necessity, as it’s soft, so it doesn’t hurt as you practically jam it into your eyeball and it’s not angled, but rather, straight across. Again, good for eyeball-poking application of eyeliner.) You simply get the brush a little wet, dab it in the eyeliner, and then brush it along the ledge area. This gives the whole smokey eye a really finished look. (Props to my mom, Queen Caren, a woman infinitely cooler than me, for getting me started on this trend.)

So, you’ve caked on pounds of black eye makeup and…Then what? Back when I was single and out trolling the bars for dudes, on the rare off-chance I met a guy and maybe, you know, spent the evening with him (never!) I would pay very close mind while I was sleeping to NOT RUIN my eyeliner. I didn’t want to wake up looking like an Amy Winehouse coyote ugly situation, you know? But now that I’m an old married broad, my ocular health is more important than impressing random dudes, and so, I make sure I remove my eye makeup every night.

I think this tale of my whoreish past segues nicely into Life of a Doctor’s Wife‘s question, which is, how do I remove all that eye makeup? Well, LoaDW, I use these makeup remover wipes from M.A.C. I have sensitive eyes, too, so I can attest the mildness of the M.A.C. wipes. However, I recently ran out and since I’m too lazy to trudge over to the M.A.C. store and buy new ones, I had to settle for whatever I could find at the drugstore.

I meant to by the Olay kind, as I’ve bought them before – while traveling – and found them to be an adequate substitute for the M.A.C. wipes. However, I mistakenly bought the Neutrogena kind and while they get the job done okay, they’re not – and I shudder to use this word, but it’s really the only one that works here – moist enough.

So, to recap, my answer here is: 1) Use the M.A.C. wipes, 2) If you don’t have a M.A.C. store or are too lazy to go to a M.A.C. store, the Olay wipes work well, too, and 3) Avoid the Neutrogena wipes.

Well, I hope these answers helped, ladies! Dear Sarah is always here to answer your eye makeup woes!

*They totally said that, too. No, really.