“Where are her lime green socks? I thought she had lime green socks.”
“She might have but I think I packed them up because they don’t fit. She has other socks, I thought…Yeah, here you go.”
“Those are pink.”
“So?”
“Pink doesn’t match salmon.”
All about LGeeeeeeee
It’s been…a really long time since I did an LG update and I’m not sure you really even care, but I’d like to look back one day to remember what she did and when and hell if I’m going to…what? Write that shit down? Like in a baby book or something? Psh.
So! She’s almost nine months old, which, exqueeze me? When did that happen? NOT OKAY.
I think the last time I updated, she had just started to sit up unassisted. She still does that and…not a whole lot else. Everyone says she’s, “So! Close! To crawling!” but, meh. Crawl, don’t crawl, Mom doesn’t care. (Actually, Mom does care. Don’t crawl LG. Stay a wee (20+ pound!) baby forever and ever.)
She also started eating solid foods around the time of the sitting up and she still does that. OH DOES SHE DO THAT. She will (and does!) eat anything. AN-Y-THING. There’s a reason she’s pushing 25 pounds and it’s not because she’s a picky little delicate flower. No daughter of mine!
She’s had green beans, peas, carrots, yams, butternut squash, bananas, apples (lovingly made with cinnamon by her dear old mom), pears, rice, oatmeal, and countless puffins, which she has become quite adept at grabbing with her thumb and index finger before taking her other hand and SHOOOOVING everything in her mouth.
She also has started holding her own bottle and feeding herself, which is basically the best thing ever. It’s sort of happened out of necessity/tough love, as she used to micro-manage her feedings, holding the bottle, then turning her head this way and that way. I finally got sick of being her puppet, so I one day I propped her up in the boppy and let her figure all that out. And because it was FOOOOOOOOOD, delicious formula nectar of the baby gods, she figured it out real quick.
She got a tooth about a month ago, which resulted in the two of us laying in bed, staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night (she has never been a fall-asleep-in-your-arms kind of kid, but apparently snuggling with me made her feel better. Moms are the best, you know) and then a couple days later her gums grew up over the tooth and it…just disappeared. Which was annoying/frustrating/weird.
Then, randomly, a couple weeks ago, I noticed her bottom two teeth had popped through and they seem to be going nowhere but up, which means steak, fish tacos, and pork chops are in her future.
She laughs all the time. All the time. Over nothing. Over everything. She starts laughing before I even have a chance to put a new suit on her in the mornings, that’s how much she looks forward to the inevitable tickling that occurs.
She says, “Blah blah blah!” and, “Dad dad dad!” and OMG, this is sounding so lame and I’m sorry, but she recently started whispering, “Dah dah dah” and it’s the cutest, her realizing she can control how loud or quiet she is. (Quiet is good, LG.)
She will not nap long enough at school; doesn’t want to miss out on the party, I assume, and starts to hyperventilate anytime she sees another kid’s bottle, even if she’s just eaten. The teachers have started to hide her elsewhere in the room, outside of view of the DELICIOUS Dr. Browns (“OMG I know him!”) bottles.
The non or brief napping results in a usually cranky baby by the time we’re all home from work and BottleWatch 2012 and it’s hard for me to not be disappointed that my quality time with her is so limited. Besides her dad and a small handful of others, she’s one of the coolest, most fun people to hang out with, so the fact that I only get maybe, maybe an hour a day with her is sad.
But then I have a day off work and we’re home together and I’m like, damn B, you’re needy ‘n shit! And speaking of shit…AGAIN? REALLY?
Posted in LG
10 Comments
Insomniacs in the night
Scene: Three o’clock in the morning, two people are wide awake in bed
“How are you supposed to fall back asleep if you’re looking at your phone?”
“I was just thinking that. But when I get something in my head, I have to look it up…”
“…Wait, how are you supposed to fall back asleep if you’re talking to me?”
“I was just thinking that.”
“Remember when I use to be such a good sleeper?”
“Then we went and had a kid…”
“…And yet the kid is the only one actually asleep in this house.”
Posted in Chris, LG, Nerd Alert!
5 Comments
2011: The Year o’ Birthing
As the title (blatantly) suggests, 2011 was The Year o’ Birthing. This is further showcased below, as almost every one of my answers is “my baby!” or “giving birth!” or “my cute baby!” and for that I’m sorry. Maybe next year something more interesting will happen (doubtful.)
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I birthed a baby!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No-ish and no. I didn’t really make resolutions, but I did have some goals I wanted to achieve and I achieved exactly none of them. I have found I’m just not someone who responds well to people (even myself) telling me what to do. So, one day at a time, no pressure, I’m a delicate flower, etc.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I’m pretty close to myself, so yes.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.
5. What countries did you visit?
None.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn’t have in 2011?
Last year I said I wanted a new kitchen. I’d still like this. Other than that, I’d like a piece of art. Like real adult art and shit. Also some new clothes.
7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
April 20th. LG’s (and my dad’s!) birthday. I don’t think it will ever NOT amaze me that I was due in mid-May, my water broke April 17th, and LG held on until April 20th. Her timing, it’s impeccable.
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Do you want to take a guess?
9. What was your biggest failure?
I don’t fail. Failure is for losers.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
*I hope she doesn’t talk about her birth again*
(Nope.)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A plane ticket to Austin.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I always call Chris out for being wonderful and awesome, and that was no different this year, however, a special shout-out goes to LG for being the coolest baby. I really dig that chick.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nobody’s. Cool people all around this year.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, probably.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Other than the obvious BABY!, I was very excited to attend The Blathering and meet some of my people from inside the computer.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
This stupid country song Chris likes to play over and over about a dad taking his daughter fishing. WEEP!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: A) happier or sadder? B) thinner or fatter? C) richer or poorer?
A) Happier.
B) Thinner! Fatter. (Ed. note: I just looked back through pictures from December 2010 and it appears I was actually skinnier than I am now. So! I look 5 months pregnant right now. Tremendous!)
C) Poorer. Daycare’s expensive.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d gotten more spa treatments.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d spent less time feeling like I should want to stay home with LG even though I know I don’t want to.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home, the three of us, watching 24 hours of A Christmas Story and eating ourselves silly.
21. Did you fall in love with 2011?
No. I mean, it was awesome, but it didn’t buy me diamonds or anything.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Homeland. Are you guys watching this? SO GOOD. Claire Danes, the Emmy is coming for you.
(P.S. Does anyone else wonder if the Showtime parties are at all awkward with Claire Danes and Mary Louise Parker both (likely) in attendance? “Oh, hey, about that Billy Crudup thing, yeah…”)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Haters gon’ hate. No, I actually don’t hate anyone new this year. But hey, there’s always next year! 2012: The Year o’ Hate.
24. What was the best book you read?
Umm, I read two books this year. One was James Patterson. The other one was better. (Little Chapel on the River.)
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Always a day late, I’m loving Florence Welch.
26. What did you want and get?
I wanted a baby and I got one. I also wanted some other thing to work out and it did. (Vague, sorry.)
27. What did you want and not get?
A brand new wardrobe full of clothes that fit perfectly and don’t require me to hitch ’em up every three seconds.
28. What was your favorite film of 2011?
Did I…did I even watch a movie this year?
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to Sonoma for lunch and the champagnery afterwards. 28.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
ONE billion dollars. Yeah, same answer every year, but it’s true. You know what would be satisfying for NEXT year, though? If we could pay off Chris’s school loan and my car.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011?
Jeggings and scarves make the lady.
32. What kept you sane?
Chris, for everything; LG, for when I got all stressed and needed to refocus; champagne, for everything; and Twitter, for parenting, especially during the #midnightfeedingclub. It was always nice to have another poor sap who was awake and feeding a baby at 3am.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Hotel sheets.
34. Who did you miss?
I missed LG every weekday from around 9am until I got home at 6pm.
But sometimes I got to take her to work with me and that was fun. We are very important business ladies, see?
(“Step into my office.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re fucking fired!”)
35. Who was the best new person you met?
You know who.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
You’re doing everything perfectly right.
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“The party don’t start till I walk in.” — Ke$ha
Posted in All About Moi, Holidays
3 Comments
Christmas drinks and dorks
Hey, so I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and Hanukkah.
Here we are on Christmas day, looking like a couple-a dorks:
LG looks pissed (she wasn’t), but this was the only shot where she was looking at the camera, so...
Here’s a cute one of the two of us — a little blurry — but she’s smiling and that’s all that matters:
And last but certainly not least, here’s a little roundup of our holiday beverages:
Holiday magnum from Domaine Carneros, a mocha with a peppermint stick (I suppose it’s really a candycane, but whatever, peppermint stick sounds much more old time-y and quaint), and a duo of gin martinis, which look an awful lot like boobs here. Martini boobs!
Christmas decor!
If I recall, I usually do a Christmas decorations post, but I’m too lazy to go looking through the archives to find out. Either way, Raven Blackbird and Elizabeth‘s posts about their holiday decor inspired me to do the same.
I don’t get too crazy, but I do like to have a couple of holiday touches here and there. Maybe next year, I’ll get around to buying holiday garland for the mantle and the shelf/wall between the living room and dining room. Sorry, Mom, I just really, really hate Michael’s.
Here’s the mantle, which I am actually really digging this year.
I got the idea for the ornaments in hurricanes not via Pinterest, but from a local bougie store in Bakersfield called Olcott’s.
The cinnamon sticks are from my mother-in-law; I put a few in a bud vase/champagne flute and tied a couple of others together with some twine.
You’ll notice that we have neither stocking hangers nor a stocking for LG. Eh, maybe next year. I checked Target for both stocking holders and a cute stocking, but everything sucked. This year, since we didn’t get around to actually stuffing stockings, I just tied them to our candle holders. Last year, I tried those 3M hooks with the stick-em on the back, but they were awful and kept falling down. As for the candles, I plan to get red ones next year, but again with the hating of the Michael’s.
This morning I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to attach all our Christmas cards (and a birth announcement and a random postcard) to the aforementioned twine and I hung it along the staircase. I really like the idea of this and maybe next year, I’ll use red ribbon (if I can talk myself into going to Michael’s) instead of twine and clothespins (or something) instead of ghetto staples.
Here are the Christmas flowers LG “insisted” she and Chris go out and buy while I was at yoga this morning. Love that kid.
But especially her dad
Here’s the tree (and bonus car seat!) Not a very good picture, as the lights are on and it’s 3pm, but you get the idea. The peace sign ornament is a new one from my mom and I love it. There are also a couple of cute ornaments LG made in school, but I’m too lazy to get up and take pictures. If you have kids, I’m sure you can imagine what they look like.
Here are the scented pinecones that sit in a bowl on our coffee table. These are leftover from the DIY wreath I did last year and since the scent is almost gone, I’m going to burn these in the last fire of the season and buy new ones next year. At Michael’s.
Here’s my menorah, which my mom and dad bought me when I first moved out on my own. This year, I’m embarrassed to say I never bought Hanukkah candles, so we haven’t actually lit the thing. I did say the prayer, though, and the way I figure, God probably doesn’t care so much if you forget to light candles every so often. If she does, she probably has to reassess her priorities, just saying.
Picture is from two years ago, but guess what? It looks exactly the same — and sits in the same place — this year!
Finally, here’s the wreath I made two years ago. It’s getting a little cattywompus, so next year it might need some tweaking.
Not pictured: A poinsettia that sits on our dining room table, flanked by LG’s changing station and the Christmas tree. I’m sure you can guess what a poinsettia looks like, though.
Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Happy Festivus! Happy New Year!
May your days be merry and bright!
Mine sure are.
Posted in Holidays, LG
4 Comments
Hanukkah, Christmas Eve, and Christmas day menus
Thank for all your style help! I…haven’t bought anything yet. I should have mentioned it before, but I don’t actually go shopping in stores. I mean, I shop at Target, but obviously the point of that post was that I need clothes other than Target clothes.
Anyway, I don’t shop in stores, not because I am too good to do so, but because there just truly aren’t any stores near me, other than outlets, and (other than the Nine West outlet), I really hate outlets, plus I have a feeling the stores are insanely busy right now, what with people Christmas shopping and I kind of hate people, so.
I wish there was an online personal shopping service where I could give someone my credit card number and budget, my measurements and color preferences, and a list of items I need, and just have them shop for me. I would totally pay for that service, because dude(tte)(s), LOFT’s site was overwhelming. I don’t know if I want a SuperFine Tuxedo Pant or a Modern Trouser Leg Pant or a Classic Trouser Pant, I JUST WANT A PANT.
So! I’ll buy something sometime, maybe — or maybe I’ll continue to wear these same leggings with holes in the rear — but until then, Hanukkah begins tomorrow and Christmas is next weekend and you know what that means! It means that even though my tummy hurts from eating and drinking too much this past weekend, it’s time to talk about what we’re eating and drinking this week and next weekend!
Hanukkah
– Latkes! I’d be fine with a whole mess of latkes doused in sour cream and applesauce, served with a big salad, but Chris requires something else. Ideas? Maybe fish?
Christmas Eve
– Bombay Sapphire martinis
– Baked Brie
– Shrimp with homemade cocktail sauce (I scoffed when Ina Garten made her own, but wow, it really is far superior and so easy! How assholey does that make me sound, my god.)
– Goat cheese, caramelized onion, and roasted red pepper bruschetta
– I’m on the hunt for another appetizer, something easy, preferably containing a raw vegetable (roughage!), but also something new. Ideas?
Christmas day
– I haven’t figured out a breakfast menu yet, nor do we have any plans for appetizers, but I figure we’ll just graze on leftovers until dinner time.
– Roast (no recipe yet, but probably something fairly basic, as we have a quite nice cut of beef)
– Pioneer Woman’s crash hot potatoes
– Ina Garten’s sausage-stuffed mushrooms
– Sautéed green beans and almonds
– Green salad
– Probably rolls
– Possibly some roasted veggies (thinking carrots, fennel, onions, maybe a butternut squash or a parsnip for something different)
– No dessert planned, but we do have a magnum of champagne, so that should be enough
And that’s it! After next weekend, I plan to subsist on lettuce and carrots and go for long runs because man! I do love the holidays and I love (love, love!) cooking and eating and drinking, but ugh. Too much. Too, too much.
Posted in Beauty & Fashion, Food & Wine, Holidays
6 Comments
Help me be Stylish: Work clothes, especially for big-butted ladies
Internet, I need work clothes help. I work in an office-y place; the majority of the year I’m in work pants and a nice top, with a suit jacket at the ready, in case I need to look more professional in a quick second.
My problem is this: I have no idea where to get nice tops that aren’t t-shirts from Target or tank-tops that aren’t acceptable to wear sans jacket.
Where do YOU get your work tops, Internet? I don’t need button-ups (in fact, I’d prefer NO button-ups), but I need something with sleeves, that’s not $50 per shirt, and that’s made out of something NOT t-shirt material.
(Wait. I think I’m looking for BLOUSES. I am lady who wears blouses, Internet. When did this happen? Actually, it didn’t happen. I do not own any blouses. Yet. Please to find me some blouses.)
Onto the pants! I have a couple pairs of work pants I really like. Actually, I have one pair of work pants I really like. My mother-in-law bought them for me. They’re from Ann Taylor and she called them, “The best pair of pants EVER!” (She was right.)
Anyway, I need a new pair of pants. Should I just go to Ann Taylor? Probably.
Speaking of things that cover my lower half, I need dresses and skirts that big-butted ladies can wear. Now, before you say, “Oh Sarah! You don’t have a big butt!” let me just say YES I DO. It takes a certain style of skirt (a style I am not sure exists — does it exist, Internet?) that fits us apple-bottomed ladies. (“Boots with the fur!”)
So, Internet, please: Help me be stylish for work! Where can I get blouses and mom skirts?
(Oh, and I am set on shoes, don’t you worry about that!)
Posted in Help me be Stylish
14 Comments
Times, they are a-changing
There used to be a time in my life when the perfect weekend was judged by how much going out and partying I did.
Before heading out to the bars, I’d spend 45 minutes perched on the floor in front of my mirrored closet, drawing the perfect smokey-eye.
I’d painstakingly straighten my hair and pack a smaller bag with all the essentials: Gum, lip gloss, ID, debit card, done and done, let’s do this thang.
Then I’d go out, have too many G&Ts, and go to sleep just so, so that my makeup would still be perfect when I woke up to go to hangover brunch the next morning.
Nowadays, the perfect weekend is judged by whether or not I have to put in contacts and put on makeup. Glasses and a bare face all weekend? Then the weekend was a success.
(Of course, you know I still rock the smokey-eye Monday through Friday. Except now I make sure to remove my makeup every night before bed.)
(Oh, and this weekend was a perfect one.)
Posted in All About Moi
2 Comments