Holiday gift-giving advice: It’s all about meeeee!

‘Tis the season for everyone and their mother to post a holiday gift guide on their blog. If I were more cool or savvy or patient, I would post a holiday gift guide of my very own…I like to think I have some style in here somewhere. You know, beneath the Target t-shirts and fuzzy socks.

While I am not posting a holiday gift guide, I am going to give you a piece of gift-giving advice. This has come in handy for me numerous times before and, I reckon, will be beneficial for Saturday, when I need to buy gifts for a white elephant gift exchange for Chris’s company holiday party.

[Let’s discuss white elephant gift exchanges for a second, shall we? I am against white elephant gift exchanges. First of all, there’s always, ALWAYS confusion with the rules; half the group has played one way, the other half of the group has played another, and both groups think their way is The Only Way. How many times can a gift switch hands? Does the first person who got the gift count as “one” or does the person who stole it from them count as “one”? Then there are people like me, who are all, “I don’t friggin care, someone go grab me a glass of champagne, please, that is the only way I can survive this stupid game.”

Then there are the gifts, which usually range from What in the hell is this? to Wait, this ISN’T a gag gift? Shit, did I just offend your boss with my maniacal laughter? I asked Chris last night, “Is this a gag-gift white elephant gift exchange or are we exchanging nice gifts?” To which he responded, “I don’t know, but isn’t there always that one person who brings a really shitty gift that no one wants?” Good point.

Rounding out the reasons I hate white elephant gift exchanges is the following: You never get what you want. That’s right. Despite my hatred for the game, I can’t help but to get really into it. Every. Single. Time. And every single time my good gift gets stolen. Usually it’s a bottle of booze or a Starbucks gift card, nothing I can’t go out and buy myself, of course. But it’s always that gift that makes me think, Well, maybe this game isn’t so bad after all. And then it gets stolen and I get stuck with a Simpsons board game.]

On to my gift giving advice. Are you ready? It’s a good one. A piece of advice so great, you’ll be telling all your friends about it from now until eternity. Okay. Here it is:

Buy something you would want for yourself.

I know, great, right?

Seriously, though, this is basically how I buy gifts for people, with the exception of, like, my husband or my dad (unless either of them start taking interest in handbags or shoes or jewelry, in which case I’ve got more to worry about than just what to buy them for Christmas.) This method of gift buying will be perfect for Saturday, when I’m buying gifts for what could be a 22 year old guy, an 80 year old man, or anyone in between. Needless to say, it’ll be champagne flutes and coffee mugs for everyone!