A day in the life: Me and the illusive LG

I’m pretty sure I’ve done one of these before, but I saw my girl K do it, so I thought I’d do it again. Here’s a day in the life of moi — bonus points because this happened to be my birthday, so while a lot of it was the daily boring crap, I also got to leave the house and go have FUN, which is not normal.

6:53am – Wake up, stumble out of bed, go downstairs and turn the coffee pot on (I always set it up the night before, but it was still set to the weekend time — 7am — so I had to wait several minutes for my coffee to brew. Big mistake.)

7am-7:50am – Sit in bed, sip coffee, watch GMA (who ruined the WKC Best in Show winner; this happens every year, you’d think I’d learn to just not watch GMA if I didn’t finish the dog show the night before), and check social media/read some blogs.

7:50am-8am – Get ready (put on workout clothes, make bed, etc.), then go get LG, who’s been doing god only knows what in her room. (I tried to get a picture of her, but this is what I got.)

“Don’t take my picture! Go away!” (Great.)

8am-8:20am – Get LG ready, have major standoff about brushing her teeth. This has been an ongoing struggle as of late, where I tell her, “I can do this all day” (how very mom-ish of me) while I wait for her to decide to brush her teeth. The threat of no breakfast usually helps this process along.

8:20am-8:50am – Go downstairs and start the dishwasher, then settle in to work on our ‘puters. LG plays on her new LeapFrogPad, learning the alphabet or something, and I look for jobs. (“You look for the dogs, Momma?”) Check the social medias, write a cover letter, boring boring.

8:5oam-9am – My mom calls, so I talk to her for a bit, which is very difficult with LG’s LeapFrogPad thing being at the loudest volume ever and my radio in the background. (Sorry, Mom.)

9am-9:40am – Do some more computer work, Gchat with Akymbo, then make breakfast tacos. Eat breakfast, do dishes, more computer work (like, for instance, starting this blog post.)

9:40am-10am – Begin the process of getting out of the house for a walk. It always takes forever, which makes no sense, since really all we have to do it put on our shoes, but no matter what, it takes forever.

10:04am – Leave for our walk to the park. I go to one far-ish away, so that way it’ll be a 3-mile (round-trip) walk. I listen to my new Watch What Crappens podcast (I watched RHOA and Blood, Sweat, and Heels the night before so I’d be ready. Priorities.)

10:31am-10:53am – LG plays at the park while I listen to my podcast and try to take her picture.

Fail.

She asks to leave, which we do, and then she proceeds to have a meltdown and tries to extract herself from her stroller because she wants to go back to the park. I get us out onto the main street and we have a serious heart-to-heart about why we left the park (because she asked to) and why I won’t bring her back (because she’s acting like a maniac), and then we decide we’ll go home and eat lunch, so that’s what we do.

SIT YO BUTT DOWN, LADY.

11:30am-12:15pm – Arrive home and unload the dishwasher, make lunch (kale salad for me, peanut butter roll-it-up for LG), then it’s upstairs to nap (LG) and shower (me.)

12:15pm-1pm – Eat lunch (kale salad and also a pastrami sandwich because balance) and watch RichKids of Beverly Hills. I would like to mention here that I don’t normally watch this show, I really don’t, but sometimes, IF IT’S ON ALREADY, I’ll watch an episode. Two of the girls are kind of endearing and not terrible and I find myself (gasp!) agreeing with them on a lot of points (no high heels when yachting, for one thing. You know, because I yacht so very often.)

1pm-3:30pm – Turn on Almost Famous, which I set to record awhile ago so I could watch it on my birthday. This was before PSH died and now I’m kind of sad all over again, but I watch it anyway because it’s such a great movie. While I watch the movie, I read a couple chapters of my book, dick around on the Internet, text with various friends and family, and prepare for a job interview I have the following day. Balance, balance, balance.

3:30pm – Head upstairs and start getting ready for dinner out with Ms. Holly. Up until about 20 minutes ago, LG was not in fact napping, so I assume she’s still awake and open her door so we can hang out.

Sleeping. On not her bed.

I quietly start getting her stuff together for her overnight at my parents’ house the next night. She wakes up and catches me, “What are you doing with my stuff, Momma?”

3:30pm-4:45pm – LG helps me finish hair and makeups, we pack, get ready for dinner, etc. I read a couple books to LG. Chris arrives home and LG and I are both very excited.

4:45pm-5:08pm – Pour a glass of wine and drink a bit, but when LG starts being loud, decide to save it so I can have an enormous glass when I get home.

5:08pm-5:47pm – Practically run from the house streaking through the quad and drive to meet Holly for dinner.

5:47pm-7:40pm – Have a lovely and wonderful birthday cocktails and dinner with my friend. Talk about work, jobs, crock pots, Vanderpump Rules, and get slightly accosted by a drunkard on the patio.

7:40pm-8:15pm – Drive home from dinner.

8:15pm-8:30pm – Unload all my stuff, make coffee for the next day (re-setting the timer for 6am), and put some elastic pants on.

8:30pm-10pm – Drink the rest of my cougjuice, channel surf, then finally head upstairs.

10pm-10:38pm – Read a couple chapters of The Rosie Project; pass the fuuuuuck out until 6:49am the next morning.

And that’s it. Today was a good day.