I’m in kind of a funk and I don’t really know what to do about it. Not having a job and, ergo, a set daily routine has caused me to feel like I’m in limbo, wandering around aimlessly all day, every day and I don’t like it. I thrive on routine, people. Up at the same time every day, workout, have coffee, get ready, go to work, do worky things, come home, hang with LG, eat dinner, watch my shows, go to bed, lather, rinse, and repeat. Saturdays and Sundays are for aimlessly wandering around sans plan, not MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridayeverydamnday.
They (“they”) say when you’re out of/looking for work, you should establish a routine. Ideally, I supposed I should get up at the same time (I haven’t set an alarm since…November, wow) and do something (workout, I guess?), but it’s winter and it’s cold and dark outside and my bed is warm and also, I don’t know…Setting up a routine would, I think, make this situation permanent and it is not permanent. I want to find a job, I need to find a job, and if I give in to making this situation permanent-ish, then it will become permanent and no. Cannot happen.
Adding to my funk is that I liked my job. I do not like wandering around aimlessly, sure, but I like it a lot less when the alternative is getting to do exciting/fun (and okay, sometimes very boring) things. And that’s another thing. There was a time in my life where I got to meet a lot of cool people (umm, the President, for one) and go to a lot of cool events and it was all very normal and I was pretty blase about it and now I’m in yoga pants and sweatshirts and no makeup until 3pm or so every day and WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? I sit around and wonder if my (professional) life is just…boring now. Was 2008 my heyday? Is it all downhill from there? I hope not, but the yoga pants are telling a different story.
My 30th birthday is next month and Chris keeps asking what I want to do and I don’t know. I don’t want to do anything. I would like to be working on my birthday, honestly. Until then, I just cannot get in a good head-space about it and I really don’t see much to celebrate, which should feel sad and possibly sounds sad to everyone else, but I really am okay with doing nothing. (I don’t think my family will let me do nothing.) It’s just hard to make plans when I don’t know where I’ll be next month, you know?
Anyway, this is how I’m feeling today. It all reads very depressing and sad, but rest assured it’s just one side of my life that’s depressing and sad. There are many facets to me (for I am like a DIAMOND!) and despite the professional slump, life’s good and (as I say every day) tomorrow’s a new day.
Oh, man. I’m sorry. I don’t have much experience with your particular situation (*knocking on ALL THE WOOD*) but I do sympathize with the feeling, for sure. I’m not sure what to say other than, I mean, you’re pretty freakin’ awesome, and I really believe that you’ll get what you want when it’s meant to happen. Who knows? Maybe you’re not landing something pretty cool now because that leaves you open for something TOTALLY AMAZING in the near future. That’s where I’m putting my vote, anyway.
If there’s anything I can do, just say the word.
Oh man. I’m sorry things feel like such the poo-poo platter right now.
I hoping along with you that your routine changes by your birthday next month. That would be the best present ever.
Life without work when you want to work is very discouraging. If there is any way you can do something special for yourself every now and then (manicure, buy a ton of candy, new lipstick, hike alone to see sunset, I don’t know whatever) it’s nice. That’s my ass-vice. Hopefully you will be back in the swing of things soon.