I belive this makes me the biggest dork in all the Dork Land

Since I can remember, I’ve had this globe. This one right here:
There’s been debate as to where it came from; my mom says she brought it to the relationship and my dad says he did. Either way, when I moved out of their house, I took it with me. [I also took a mismatched set of wine glasses, and over the years, have taken various pieces of art, a lamp, and most recently, a pepper grinder. What? Don’t you go shopping at Mom and Dad’s?]

Although this globe has always been displayed in my home, and although I have always been curious as to whence it came, it wasn’t until last week that I started The Great Globe Dating Research.

A once-over of the globe narrowed down the date of its inception right away: Russia was U.S.S.R. and Israel was Palestine. Additionally, the globe-maker, the George F. Oram Company of Indianapolis, Indiana, had printed on the globe the names and dates of the three most recent people to reach the North and South Poles (North Pole: Amundsen in 1926 and South Pole: Byrd in 1929). Armed with these pieces of vital information, I determined that the globe was made sometime between 1929 and 1948. Too big a gap, if you ask me.

And so, the research commenced. Today I sat down, armed with a legal pad and a laptop, and scanned the globe, willing its history to speak to me. I originally thought Africa would be the answer to it all, what with its French West Africas and its Tanganyika Territories, but I quickly found that many of Africa’s Belgium, French, and English colonies were not dismantled until the 1950s or ’60s.

Oh a whim, I glanced at Asia and Googled Siam. Ah-ha! For those of you who don’t know – because, umm, I didn’t – Thailand used to be called Siam. In fact, up until 1939, Thailand was Siam. I was quickly closing the gap.

Because it was my first real clue from the begining, I moved on to the Middle East. It was here that I determined Iran was called Persia up until 1935. Eureka! I had narrowed it down even more. The globe was made sometime between 1929 and 1935.
At this point, Chris popped his head in to see how my Very Important Globe Dating Research was going. I told him that I had narrowed it down to a six-year window. He was impressed, but I told him it wasn’t enough and I continued on.

I checked out a couple more African areas, thinking that perhaps Bechuanaland would be my answer. No dice. I went back to the Middle East and gave Trans-Jordan and Baluchistan a check. Their dates did not help at all.

I was about to give up, but decided to check out Asia one last time. Although it was the same color of China, I noticed an area that was separated by a thick red boundary: Manchuria of Manchoukuo. A quick Google and I found that this area of China was its own state from 1932 until 1945. This was the last puzzle piece I needed and determined that this globe, The Globe To End All Globes, was made between 1932 and 1935.

Yes, that’s right, I. Am. Awesome. And also, I. Have. No. Life. But if you ever need someone to date your globe, you know who to call.