Recently, while killing time waiting for a meeting to begin, I started jotting down little notes, things I’ve learned from my parents and mentors, or things I’ve picked up just by being around and aware.
Sarah’s Rules of Success, I called the list…
…I will now make an aside in hopes that putting it out there might make me stop doing something that really bugs me.
Aside: “But I don’t make a lot of money.” I say this often, when I’m defending where I am career-wise, as if my lack of six-figures means I am a fraud. As if I’m not really a success.
But you know what? I have worked hard, on purpose, get where I am. I am proud of the work and forethought that getting here took. It wasn’t an accident. I paid attention, made good, wise choices, and now, I am where I am. *pat on the back*
So, why do I devalue all that by mentioning that I don’t make a lot of money? I don’t know and it actually really pisses me off. I do not even care about making more money. Mo’ money equals mo’ problems and all that jive. Mo’ money also equals mo’ stress and, you know, I’m good there.
Anyway, this is something I need to stop doing. Pats on the back are all well and good, but if you’re simultaneously kicking yourself in the ass, then what’s the point?
Aside: Done.
This post is about my rules for success, so let’s get back to that.
So, I started jotting these notes down and thought I’d share a few here:
1. Don’t burn bridges; you never know where someone will end up.
2. Forgive, but never forget.
3. Always be willing to ask; the worst someone can say is no — in which case, you’re in the same place you started — but, they might just say yes.
4. Don’t show all your cards.
These are just a few of my favorites. I have more, which I’m admittedly leaving off because they come across as cold-hearted, and see also: #4 above.
What about you? What are some of your secrets to success?
I do the exact same thing, and it drives me (and my husband) mad! I’ve worked hard to get where I am, why am I letting $$ get the best of me? Time for me to focus on success as well!
It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Actually, that one has not led to much success. It does tend to lead to fun though.
I agree with all of these. I was let go from a job a few years back during company-wide layoffs. Ended up with a better job a few weeks later but the person who let me go was awful, making all sorts of terrible comments about how he fired me, that I wasn’t good at my job etc. I am now working at an organization that uses my old company for services, which means I’m now this man’s client. I’ve forgiven – this all happened years ago but I’ll never forget. I have no intention of terminating their contract and I certainly don’t expect or want him to kiss my butt but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel like a little bit of an F you when I got the job.
I got the job at my current organization by not burning bridges with clients, keeping in touch and sending notes at key moments – “I hear your event went great; congratulations!” etc. I may not be making a ton of money but it’s the job I always wanted and I’m so happy here it’s ridiculous.
As for one of my rules – treat all vendors as you would want to be treated. I work in a small industry and if you treat your suppliers like crap, word is going to get around. They’ll take your money, for sure, but you won’t get good service if you’re an ass.
Don’t take calls from people, who you know will piss you off, on a Friday afternoon. You will think about that stupidity ALL WEEKEND LONG.
Wait 24 hours before sending a reactionary email. I have found that the 24 hour breathing period has prevented many a snob off. AND if you’re really upset about something… PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL. It’s amazing to me how many conflicts can be avoided if people just talk to each other.
1. Be pleasant as a default. It’s amazing to me how many people start as “pain in the ass” and only get to “pleasant” if they think it’s to their advantage. Those people? Aren’t fun to be around. And you want people to want to be around you, because when it comes to next jobs/opportunities/whatever, people will pick the people they want to work with. Few people are SO talented that their skill set overcomes shitty personality, and even if you are that person – why make it harder for yourself? (I’m not suggesting be a doormat – there’s no good in being vapidly friendly – but it never hurts to start at nice and move down the spectrum as needed vs the flip side.)
2. (as a follow up): the most important part of any resume is your references. Almost every job I have ever gotten I got through someone I had worked with before. You want every single person on your reference list to be able to say”If I was starting a company/on a sinking ship/looking for a new hire, I’d take HER.” When I interview people it is ALMOST the only thing I care about – would their former coworkers want to work with them again/ would their boss hire them again? There will ALWAYS be cases where the answer is No (bad personality fit, bad skill fit, whatever), but on the average, you want it to be Yes. If it’s not “yes”, there’s a reason why.
3. Know when to quit. I am 500x more productive at 8am than at 6pm. If I’m struggling with something at the end of the day, I will (if possible) just quit and get to it in the morning. I will get it done quicker, better, and will have saved myself the energy of struggling with it.
4. Show up. I’ve worked jobs that were 100% remote, which SOUNDS awesome, but for me, it was The Suck. I need to be in person whenever possible. I currently have the flexibility to work at home if I want, but if there’s a meeting, I find it’s almost always better to be there in person. For most things in my field, you just have to show up.
Oh, re money: I find this to be HEAVILY industry specific. My husband is a Lt. Col in the Marine Corps — good, long career and impressive track, title, etc… and still makes less than I do for twice the years of service. We’re just in different industries. You work in the government space – important, interesting work, but not profit driven work, and that will impact your earning. And who the hell cares? Income is only one metric of success, and has EVERYTHING to do with the field that you are in.
If you were a I Banker, a job that is defined as “make people money”, and you don’t make a lot? Failure. That industry is defined by profit, both corporately and personally. But – thankfully, because, ew – you’re not. So chill out, lady, and stop holding yourself to a standard set but others in places that aren’t pertinent to your life. You’re kicking ass ten ways to Sunday.
Wait! Another!
(clearly one of the secrets to my success is NOT “Know When To Shut Up”
Only work on the weekend if it makes you money or makes you happy.
I *love* and follow #1. Another rule I live by? Don’t speculate. It’s fun on TV, but if someone doesn’t show up/doesn’t get something done/is crabby with you/doesn’t donate to your cause, don’t guess why. You can ask them why, or move on. It’s not about you, and if you don’t ask, you don’t know what craziness or worse-ness is happening in someone’s life.