Survivalist douche

I’ve never liked Richard Blais of Top Chef fame. I remember being elated when he got his ass kicked on his season of Top Chef. Of course, this season he was back, seeking redemption on Top Chef: All Sucks and towards the end of the season, I really started noticing how he just says THE STUPIDEST. THINGS.

If I’d had the foresight, I would have kept a running list of all Richard’s doucheisms from the entire season, but sadly, I didn’t. Instead, I have just two, but they’re two that are so douchey, I’ve committed them to memory and every time I even think about one of them, I cringe.

Here are Richard’s doucheisms, paraphrased, because I can’t be bothered to search for video online.

Richard Blais Doucheism #1: “There’s a physicality to this challenge.”

You guys, he was talking about the Target challenge, wherein contestants had to cook with/on/using only items (including food) from Target. When they unveiled this particular challenge, I told Chris, “I would so make that challenge my bitch. It’s basically like I’ve been training for such a challenge my entire life. I would KILL IT.”

But that’s not the point. The point is Sir Richard, winded from all that…RUNNING AROUND TARGET…was likening the challenge to, like, a sporting event. Heh, “There’s a physicality to the challenge,” heh. SHUT UP. You’re a CHEF, not an Olympian.

Richard Blais Doucheism #2: “It’s like survivalist cooking.”

This was said as contestants were cooking on a beach…With pots, pans, utensils, stocked pantries, and FIRE PITS.

Sure they had to go diving (in shallow waters) for conch (that had been placed there by crew members), but still. Survivalist cooking, REALLY?

I’m sure anyone who’s actually had to cook to survive in the wild would totally agree with you, Richard. Shall we ask Wilson?

Point is, Richard Blais is a douche who says douche things. Join me in rooting against him on tonight’s finale!

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11 Responses to Survivalist douche

  1. Kerri Anne says:

    “Top Chef: All Sucks.” Haaaaaaaa!

    So true.

  2. Haha I’ve never watched an episode of Top Chef, and yet I’ve met Richard Blaise. He opened a restaurant, Flip Burger (now a mini-chain), in Atlanta while Scott and I were home, and my friend in SF was his publicist so she sent us there to meet him. He seemed nice enough, but OMFG he can make a mean burger and shake!

  3. Kyell says:

    His blatant narcissism and egotism gets old extremely quickly. It must be because of all that “spreading the intimidation factor”.

  4. Maura says:

    You could make a drinking game out of how many times he said it would be the biggest/greatest/proudest/most-super-de-duper-fantastic moment of his professional career if he won. He said it at least a dozen times last night.

  5. Rhi says:

    HE IS RIDICULOUS. I hate how he’s always, “I totally blew that challenge.” Which he only says because he’s fishing for compliments.

  6. Alyssa says:

    Bahaha, this post totally cracked me up! I don’t hate him but I’ve found him increasingly annoying and man he has an ego this season! Watching the finale last night when him and Mike were sitting on the couch afterwards awaiting judges table, their discussion was SO awkward! Richard was all “well it seems like you did everything right” – LOL!

  7. whoorl says:

    SURVIVALIST DOUCHE. Hahahaaaaaaaa.

  8. Raven says:

    Sorry, but I liked him MUCH MORE THAN MIKE.

    Not to say that R was the best thing since sliced bread but Mike is such an asshole! I just wanted to kick him in the nuts the whole season and take his ass down several pegs. When poor Antonia found out she was related to him? I felt so bad for her!

  9. Sarah says:

    Well I never said I liked Mike! This was just all about Blais’s douchiness! I was rooting for Antonia, really!

  10. Sarah says:

    100% agree. Didn’t he seem way OVER confident in his season? And then so under confident this season? Like, yeah right, buddy! We’re on to you.

  11. Oh, we’re over. We. Are. Done.

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